Love Is Not Enough And It's Not About Being Perfect
What else do couples deal with besides love?
We’ve always thought that love is enough to keep a relationship strong. Movies and songs make us believe that love alone can fix everything. We see love as the perfect answer to all our problems and struggles.
And when ‘love is all we need’, we ignore the fundamental values such as humility, respect, and commitment towards the people we care about. They try to show in movies that “If you love someone, everything works out in the end” but that’s a lie, and ‘love alone is not enough’ to keep a relationship strong in reality.
When we start believing that ‘love is not enough’ - we understand that healthy relationships require more than lofty passions and pure emotions.
Nowadays, couples face lots of issues that love alone can’t solve.
THE BEGINNING OF LOVE
In the beginning, every relationship is full of passion and excitement. The intensity of emotions is higher than usual and as everything is new, it is easy to believe that love alone can carry us through anything.
However, once the honeymoon phase ends and reality hits — financial worries, work stress, and family responsibilities — start making the relationship complicated. Couples start questioning if love is enough to help them get through these hard times.
I’m not saying that love isn’t important here, it must be paired with other factors like shared goals and values, communication, and emotional maturity. Even the strongest love can’t survive without these factors.
CHALLENGES OF COUPLES THESE DAYS
The most common issue we see these days in couples is unrealistic expectations and the influence of social media plays a big role here. Couples compare their relationships by watching the lives of perfect couples online. Some Instagram couples show the world they have it all — endless smiles, fancy vacations, and constant affection.
Nobody shares ‘behind the camera’ moments — the negative side, the arguments, the challenges they face in their relationship. It’s easy to fake happiness by sitting at home and showing the world you are happy.
We see this happening a lot.
Real relationships involve stress, bad days, and miscommunication.
Some couples struggle with the insecurity of not having a good relationship because it doesn’t match the standard of the images they see on their screens. They want to compete with what others are having.
And because we idealize love due to these unrealistic expectations, we overestimate it. As a result, our relationships pay a price.
The problem with idealizing love is, that it sets unrealistic expectations and when reality hits, we realize that real love does not include what we see in movies or social media.
The spark we experienced, in the beginning, starts converting into toxicity because we ignored the fundamental values at the start.
THE THREE HARSH TRUTHS ABOUT LOVE
Real love doesn’t include songs, unrealistic themes, fancy places, or candlelight dinners, it goes through the problems of real life.
These are the three harsh truths about love.
1) LOVE DOESN’T MEAN IT’S EASY TO COMMUNICATE
The major problem couples go through is communication breakdown.
For example, some couples have different communication styles. One person may bottle up emotions while another wants to discuss the problem immediately. After some time, this difference starts to create problems in the relationship and leads to emotional distance, resentment, and misunderstandings.
Love doesn’t mean you both will magically understand each other.
2) LOVE ALONE DOESN’T SOLVE FINANCIAL PROBLEMS
Money becomes a major problem for many couples. Financial pressures can create immense issues even between the most loving couples. One partner is wise and likes to save money while the other is a spender.
This leads to arguments about managing finances. The world is becoming tougher and the cost of living is rising — people feel overwhelmed by financial responsibilities.
Love is not enough when you’re dying to provide a better lifestyle to your kids and your partner is acting immature and self-centered by wasting money on some stupid watch.
3) LOVE DOESN’T MEAN GOOD COMPATIBILITY
A common misconception is: that love is equal to good compatibility.
You can love someone passionately but struggle with compatibility issues with your partner. These differences can make long-term harmony difficult.
For instance, one may want a child and the other doesn’t. One wants a stable family life while the other seeks travel and adventure. These issues can lead a person towards deep frustration no matter how strong the love is.
ADVICE: YOU SHOULD NOT LOSE YOURSELF IN LOVE!
Being in love means you think outside your own needs to care for another person and their needs.
But the question is — Is it worth it? What are you exactly sacrificing?
It’s normal to sacrifice your desires, needs, and time for your partner. I would say it’s completely healthy and makes a relationship strong.
But, the same love becomes toxic when it’s about sacrificing one’s dignity, self-respect, ambitions, and life purpose to satisfy someone .
A healthy relationship doesn’t kill your identity or damage it.
Some things just can’t be fixed no matter how hard we try.
Be Wise
Fall in love with someone truly worth your sacrifices, someone who brings you peace, it’s not hard to communicate with them, where you can be yourself. Look for shared goals and values rather than being swayed by appearances to avoid regretting a lack of true compatibility.
Final Thoughts
Love is important but it’s not a solution to all relationship problems. Idealizing love sometimes makes us believe in a fantasy world that doesn’t exist. Love should be supported by compromise, shared goals or values, and communication. If there are compatibility issues, love alone wouldn’t be enough to solve all problems. A healthy relationship takes effort and while love is the foundation of every relationship, it needs these factors to thrive. In today’s complex world, where distractions and pressures are endless, it’s tough work — paired with love that keeps couples together.
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